Upon returning from my trips, my training sessions, I feel like an outsider coming back to an new environment. Like something was missing to this world… And it is me.
I hear stories, and things that I missed. I laugh, smile, and,enjoy the catching up. I hear about what happened and what did I miss.
But then… That dreaded feeling comes back… The feeling of the previous chapter not connecting to the one I am on. I feel a bit lost, confused, and scared…
I dread this feeling, I do not like it, but it is always there… Looming its dark and evil head around each corner. It hides and waits for it to see that I am not paying attention, then it attacks.
The feelings within are always going to be there, always going to haunt me. But I recently found I have more power… More power than the darkness leads me to believe.
I have the power of love.
I found it useful and noticing how it can make those dark feelings go away… Just for a little while at least.
I will continue to fight these feelings, each time I leave and when I come back, but I now, know what connects the chapters together… And that is love.
The feelings within… My heart will keep me moving forward, and not giving up.
I love her…
-Psyiah Nalani
The Nalanis 