Now, Forever & Always

Now, Forever and Always

These words were spoken to me by my wife yesterday evening as we stood before each other and renewed our vows.

Psy has always been good with words.  Not me.  I don’t have words to describe the love I have for my wife.  Even yesterday, as we exchanged vows, I fumbled over my words, having a hard time saying what I was feeling.

I am not an easy kitten to be with, I know. I aggravate her with my stubbornness.  I know she hates the way I forget to put the cap on the toothpaste tube.  And I don’t always remember to tell her when I am going to be home late.  But she still loves me.  She never points out my flaws, she never draws attention to my mistakes.  She just loves me for me.  She accepts me for who I am and everything I am and loves all of it.

I tell her I don’t deserve her.  Its cliche, I know, but there isn’t another way to say it.  I feel so special because of her.  I feel like she deserves someone who is a better lover and care taker.  Someone who can be a better provider.  I just, I guess I feel like I just wanna curl up in her arms and beg for her to never let me go.  I need her in my life.

When I am home alone, my heart feels empty.  I roam around the house bored and unable to find anything I want to do.  I do a little dusting, I rearrange the furniture, I play solitaire triple triad…I mope about and feel “blah”.  My heart like legit aches.  I can’t seem to cure the pain, only Psyiah can.  Only the sound of the front door closing and the sound of her voice as she calls to me, can heal that pain.  I throw my arms around her and welcome her home with a big hug.  I hold her, my heart healed, my soul once more whole.

I have a very technical mind, and its hard for me to put my emotions into words.  Hell all I’ve done here is blabber and throw together random thoughts trying to piece together a way to let my wife know she is my entire world and without her, nothing matters.

Psyiah, if you’re reading this, please know that you are my one true love.  I would give up anything for you.  You really truly do make my world a better place.